Tuesday, June 2, 2009

My Wings.

Black Wings Pictures, Images and Photos

Held down...
Can't breathe.
Gasping, I moan from my depth...
And I hear the music.

The rhythm of the crashing waves
Beat to the tune of my heartbeat.
Deafening roar
My senses go numb.

I am flying...

Or am I dead.

I am an eagle. I think I can see it all. My wings spread, I soar through the magnificent sky. But am I really not blind? I try to take it all in, and make my flight count. But wings are only that strong. How far can my wings take me? And when will I fall? The ledge, the precipice is always an inch behind me.

Wherever I go, I see you. I see you all. You won't let me go. Or is it me? I bid farewell long, long ago, took my last bow - yet you are everywhere. I wish to remember, but I can only forget. Perhaps that is why I have a perpetual need to keep you right here. Here, where you can hurt me more. Where you can assault my senses of violent memories.

I am addicted. Addiction is the air I breathe. Then how am I alive? The only way I can forgive my dirty self is the penance of shedding my own blood. Ah, I'm a sinner.

All that slips away. As time goes on it all becomes a haunting memory of yesteryear. I am afraid to forget. I need to see the ugly truth now and always. If I do not remember the horror, the pain, the fear of it all - what will become of me? Will I still be me?

So dangerous to forget.

I am scared. Perhaps it has been the realization of stability which frightens me of how close I always am...

To having my wings gone.


  1. I can relate. The fear of falling, of loosing your wings. But remember, fly! You will always have your wings, even when you're still.

  2. EP,

    your words should be slowly devoured, and like a box of the finest chocolate be swirled and twirled...

    only then can it be eaten.

  3. GOD DOESN'T MAKE JUNK!! Rmember that always! No one owns you but yourslef! We all have a journey of life that has been designed by god himself.
    God has a sense of humor!!
    So fly and soar, because no one can take you wings away, your wings are your heart!

  4. you have such strong wings that no wind can break, just never forget to flutter them so you continue to soar!
    then pain you express i can feel in my own blood...
    please always remember to fly

  5. MY_LIFE -
    i am still unable to read your blog... open the door darling...