Tuesday, June 2, 2009

My Wings.

Black Wings Pictures, Images and Photos
Strangling....

Held down...
Can't breathe.
Gasping, I moan from my depth...
And I hear the music.

The rhythm of the crashing waves
Beat to the tune of my heartbeat.
Deafening roar
My senses go numb.

I am flying...

Or am I dead.

I am an eagle. I think I can see it all. My wings spread, I soar through the magnificent sky. But am I really not blind? I try to take it all in, and make my flight count. But wings are only that strong. How far can my wings take me? And when will I fall? The ledge, the precipice is always an inch behind me.

Wherever I go, I see you. I see you all. You won't let me go. Or is it me? I bid farewell long, long ago, took my last bow - yet you are everywhere. I wish to remember, but I can only forget. Perhaps that is why I have a perpetual need to keep you right here. Here, where you can hurt me more. Where you can assault my senses of violent memories.

I am addicted. Addiction is the air I breathe. Then how am I alive? The only way I can forgive my dirty self is the penance of shedding my own blood. Ah, I'm a sinner.

All that slips away. As time goes on it all becomes a haunting memory of yesteryear. I am afraid to forget. I need to see the ugly truth now and always. If I do not remember the horror, the pain, the fear of it all - what will become of me? Will I still be me?

So dangerous to forget.

I am scared. Perhaps it has been the realization of stability which frightens me of how close I always am...

To having my wings gone.


5 comments:

  1. I can relate. The fear of falling, of loosing your wings. But remember, fly! You will always have your wings, even when you're still.

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  2. EP,

    your words should be slowly devoured, and like a box of the finest chocolate be swirled and twirled...

    only then can it be eaten.

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  3. GOD DOESN'T MAKE JUNK!! Rmember that always! No one owns you but yourslef! We all have a journey of life that has been designed by god himself.
    God has a sense of humor!!
    So fly and soar, because no one can take you wings away, your wings are your heart!

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  4. you have such strong wings that no wind can break, just never forget to flutter them so you continue to soar!
    then pain you express i can feel in my own blood...
    please always remember to fly

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  5. MY_LIFE -
    i am still unable to read your blog... open the door darling...

    ReplyDelete